The Perils of Eavesdropping
by mistress amethyst une
Summary: Set directly after the season two episode Parturition. The doctor's been eavesdropping. The command team has a dirty little secret. Does the doctor know?


**Disclaimer: **ST: VOY isn't mine.

**Author's Note: **Add-on to Parturition with references to Twisted.

**The Perils of Eavesdropping**

**by mistress amethyst une**

_"Commander Chakotay will discuss operating protocols with you at the earliest opportunity..."_

The captain's sideways glance hadn't been lost on her first officer when she'd told told the doctor the previous statement. After a few months of working together, they'd learned to read each other's expressions quite well. The EMH had admitted to eavesdropping all over the ship, and they both knew their reputations would be shot if the doctor knew their dirty little secret. Despite not having known her for too long, he could almost hear her voice in the stare she'd thrown him. That stare said, "I don't care how you do it. Find out what he knows."

So the escapade to Planet Hell ended, and Tom and Neelix had been rescued. The reports were written, read and filed. Nothing was left to distract him from his commanding officer's subliminal order. Taking a deep breath, he made his way to deck five to face the ship's surly chief medical officer.

Kes greeted him warmly, and led him into the doctor's office. The EMH was obviously on edge, toying absentmindedly with the centrifuge he'd used to create the dermal osmotic sealant that had proven so beneficial to Tom and Neelix's survival. Chakotay cleared his throat, drawing the doctor's attention.

"Commander," he remarked nonchalantly, "I suppose you're here to discuss those protocols. Please sit. I've followed the captain's orders. No more eavesdropping."

Chakotay sat down, wondering how to get through this. "Well, before we go into the lecture, the captain is concerned about what you've heard. Any sensitive information? People plotting a mutiny? Senior officers not complying with protocol?"

A sly smile formed on the hologram's face. "Oh...so now my eavesdropping is beneficial?"

"Not exactly. What you did was a violation of privacy. But what's done is done, and we might as well make use of the information. After that incident with Ensign Seska, we can't risk anything."

"No."

"Excuse me?"

"No, I didn't hear anything suspicious. Just the usual everyday conversations. There was this one time I heard some drunks on the holodeck though. A male and a female officer fraternizing. Didn't really recognize their voices. A nearby anomaly was impeding transmissions. I don't think it's anything of concern."

Chakotay couldn't help but tug on his ear. That was probably one of the worst nights of his life.

_"You're drunk," he chortled._

_"So are you, handsome," she slurred, falling into his arms. "Damn extended belated birthday party. Who spiked the punch? Whoever heard of spiked punch at a two-year-old's birthday party?"_

_"Well, Kes isn't your typical two-year-old."_

_"Yeah, yeah. Save it. I'm drunk, you're drunk. Got anything to confess? I sure as hell won't remember in the morning."_

_The Sandrine's holoprogram was running. He sat her down on a bar stool, before taking the seat next to her._

_"A bar?" she cackled. "You want to get me even more drunk? I'm not easy enough for you right now?"_

_He found himself overcome with laughter. "Easy? You? Never!"_

_She poked him in the chest. "What? I can't be easy? You're saying I'm difficult?"_

_"I didn't say that. You said that."_

_She giggled. "I guess I did. You don't like difficult women?"_

_"I love difficult women," he laughed._

_She laughed even more. "So you love me. Nice...I'll have to put you in the brig for fra- frater- whatever."_

They'd both woken up with hangovers from hell. Somehow, he'd ended up on the floor of her quarters, while she lay on the couch. Thankfully, they were both fully-clothed. There was an unspoken understanding between them to forget that night. It wasn't that difficult a task since the alcohol had done most of their forgetting for them. She'd been asleep when he left. She never had to know about the lipstick marks he'd found all over his face and neck. He remembered groaning at the mirror that morning. There had to be a t-shirt to go with this experience: "I made out with the captain but I don't remember!"

When he'd spoken to her on-duty later that day, she'd been all business. He wondered if she remembered kissing him. Probably not...she'd been more drunk than he was. And now they were quite sure that the doctor didn't know. Their secret was safe.

Snapping back into the present, he eyed the EMH. "These drunks...you're sure you don't know who they are."

"Positive," replied the doctor. "I'd tell you if I did."

"Thank you."

Chakotay rose to get up.

"Commander!"

"What?"

"My briefing on operational protocols?"

"Uh...let's reschedule it. I just remembered that I have something really important to do on the bridge. Thank you, doctor."

He was out out of there before the EMH could say another word.

**-End-**


End file.
